1. |
chrysalis
03:35
|
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|
it took a few years but i think that i figured out
the difference between being stable and content
i know it gets better and i also know i never want
to be locked inside of a chrysalis again
but its over now
i think im ok
still i wonder how
ill make it all stay
its hard not to worry about everything all at once
when youve got a target on the back of your neck
im almost further now
from where i want to be
so if theres life out there
id be the first to see
my cocoon hangs off a tree
hidden deep inside the woods
ill take one last look
before i lose it all for good
|
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2. |
autumn song
03:08
|
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|
i wake up and i grit my teeth
and soak up all the pressure that im underneath
and i can hear the distant buzz of bumblebees
ill follow the sound through every single crunch of the fallen leaves
beneath my feet
it led me to a garden hidden by the trees
they built it just for me
and for a moment everything felt fine and i could finally breathe
the faded green
beneath my feet
it points me towards the sun and the yellow love that it gave to me
and for a moment everything felt fine and i could finally breathe
|
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3. |
be like u
03:02
|
|||
|
its 3am and im staring at my phone again
i liked your tweet about your brand new friends
and the pictures that you post with them
cuz they tear me up
and they keep me up all night
it feels impossible to fall asleep when im not wrapped inside your skin
im just another girl online, wasting her time
ignoring every single thing thats going wrong in her life
i like the way you act and pictures of your cat
you got me wishing why the fuck cant i just be like that?
i try to fake self love
sometimes it works and other times it doesnt work at all and it only hurts
so then i lock the door and i lay on the floor
im just wishing i was prettier so i could be more like you
and in the morning ill be forced to go outside
and be the person that i tried so hard to hide
but i stayed up way too late into the night
practicing being cute to feel alive
when they all turn their heads and look at me it makes me sick
and it doesnt help that they all know my tricks
|
||||
4. |
shadow girl
02:22
|
|||
|
a frail voice from behind the wall
a faint glow seeps out under the door
a soft sound echoes down the hall
my heart stops at the creak of the floor
lights out, everyones asleep
but somethings telling me that im being watched
i fell down running up the stairs
i pray ill make it back before i get caught
|
||||
5. |
summer's ghost
03:13
|
|||
|
writing in the dust on a locked glass door
but im still here waiting on your call
keep knocking, its a matter of time
staring at a blank calendar on the wall
please push me deeper down
just low enough to reach the clouds
be the fire, inhale your smoke
get me high enough to touch the ground
whats another day? whats another year?
so much to hide, nothing to fear
and now every springtime feels like fall
cuz im still here waiting on your call
angel from a past life, sing to me
hazy like your voice but it sounds so sweet
sigil on an oak tree carved in blood
shadow cast sitting in the window seat
calloused hands glitter in the lanterns glow
hell is just a momentary lapse of being
looking for the moon in a solstice dream
but heavens still a place i havent seen
summers ghost came back to haunt me twice
her words bring me down like weighted dice
and winter feels so fucking cold
seeing death in a vision tinted gold
i never wanted to be someone incapable of trusting what i love
and the people who love me
|
||||
6. |
out of your mind
03:40
|
|||
|
slow down
youre moving too quickly now
all of your friends and your family can tell that its taking its toll on you
youre out of your mind in a bad way, you just havent realized it yet
and its getting worse and everyone knows it, they just havent told you yet
and i know
you know its a problem too
your vacant stare sees right through the good things and good people around you
you say you dont want their help but something is telling me you secretly do
when it feels like theres no one around, not a soul left it town
you know what you need to do lift all the weight thats been holding you down
its only a conversation or two until you get your crown
so slow down
and breathe in the air for once
and let out the bad things and bad thoughts living inside of your head
i know youre tired
and i know youre scared to death
when you swim up to the surface youll be able to breathe again
|
||||
7. |
somewhere secret
04:49
|
|||
|
in the foxes den
you were my best friend
youll go blue and ill pick red
lets stay up til were almost dead
and when we both grow up
we can clink our cups
and talk about the things we did together
back when we were kids
and when you wanted something different i thought id be the first to know
and if you needed somewhere secret i couldve been the place for you to go
and if you had to run and hide from me and everybody else
you couldve just told me the truth
but you kept it to yourself
in the lions lair
neither here nor there
promise me a concrete love
that fades into the stars above
for the final time
place your hands in mine
hold me up to the moonlight
so i can stay awake at night
|
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8. |
pastel death
03:57
|
|||
|
what if i were not who you thought i was?
what if i never came back again?
eyes wide open and glued to the floor
hands reach forward and get stuck in the door again
weve been here before
i remember the look on your face
cuz i tried to forget but it still takes up space in my head
you remind me of the guilt and the shame
and how i couldnt cry when everything fell into place
days drift by but its all the same
youre still stuck on who you wanna blame, and for what?
im sick of your shit to be honest
im done with self hatred
ive accepted the days weeks and years that ive wasted
its hard to believe anything could be sacred
when every passing second is a new fabrication
and im just over the unending questions that circle my head
what will they say?
what will they think and not say?
i dont know, i dont care cuz im ready to lose it all for good
|
||||
9. |
snow day
06:19
|
|||
|
its easy to say nothing when somethings on your mind
its hard to feel good when you know youre wasting time
through every circle in my life ill draw a line
and write down all directions that ive come to find
im not the same
im not the boy you thought you met just yesterday
and you should know
i changed my name
and i erased every lingering bit of shame
cuz im fucking tired of the person i used to be
i feel his shadow and its hanging over me
im reaching out to anyone beyond the night
so take my hands and bring me back into the light
it burns my eyes
but its so much better than the numbness of the lies
and honestly? im far from fine
but im still here because id rather be alive
|
||||
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